Alright, so it has been awhile since I have been on the blog, or to use a better term, since I have blogged. I am fixing this right now....

So, I can't figure out myself or my life right now. I am just confused about a lot of things. Shall I give you my top five list (modified from a top ten list, which is an Adrienne classic)? I think I will. Here goes.

The Top Five things Age is confused about in her life right now:

#5. School--so I know that I am a psychology major and I can't think of any other major I would want to be, but I don't think that I know what I want to do with it anymore. I am just feeling mixed up and confused about what to do with my life. I know I want to apply my degree somehow, but I don't know how! What do I do? Also, I am confused at why school has to be so stressful. I'm just going to throw that out there.

#4. Working--I need a job desperately, but I can't really get a job because this summer I am going on three pretty long vacations and so I can't get a real job over the summer and I can't really get a job in Provo cause it's the middle of the semester and I will be leaving in the middle of April anyways.

#3. the Summer--so this summer, like I said, I will be going on a bunch of trips. I am so completely excited but I don't know what I will do with the rest of my time. Also, I don't know if I am allowed to say this but my family has been looking for houses down in Phoenix so I don't know where I will be living this summer. I don't know if I would move with them or stay with my grandparents here.

#2. Roommates--it is sometimes hard to live with five other girls and I hate it when I get annoyed with them, but I do. I wish I could just be a good person and not get frustrated. Usually we get along great and they are some of my best friends, but boys add a whole new dynamic...one that isn't always good.

#1. BOYS--why do boys have to be so lame and confusing? I went out on a date with this guy Brian on Friday and I had so much fun and I seriously would have kissed him (oh man) if he would have tried. However, I have been talking myself out of liking him because he isn't worth all the confusion that he puts me through. I don't know what the word is, but he is completely something that I can't put my finger on. You will get details at the sleep over. I really like this other boy named Porter and I have pretty much liked him throughout the entire semester but he is confusing, too. He never really showed interest at the beginning and we were just friends, though not really even close friends. Lately, though, I have been coming out of my shell and I think he has started to notice me more. The thing about my roommates is that three of them are incredibly flirtatious and I sometimes feel overshadowed by them. It was so completely frustrating. But then I just decided to not let them overpower my own personality cause I felt like boys didn't know who I was because my roommates would always get the attention. I got so sick of it that I have been trying to put myself out there more. The sucky thing about Porter is that my roommate Hilary likes him, too. I am also sick of not liking boys just because my roommates voiced that they like the boy first. I have tried to keep who I like quiet because it seems like whoever I say I like my roommates start flirting with that boy a lot. So I am still going to like Porter. I know this probably doesn't make sense but I will tell more at the sleep over. One good thing about Porter is that he was really flirty with me on Sunday when my apartment and his apartment went to eat dinner at Hil's house. I was so happy. Details later. Finally, there is this guy named Porn Tepp (he is half Korean) that I really think is awesome but I am not sure if I like him. I thought I did over the weekend but then Kellyn started flirting it up with him and I got annoyed and so I convinced myself not to like him. He is so nice though and he texts me a lot and we like a lot of the same music and a lot of the same things. He is funny, too. However, I don't know if I am really attracted to him that much because he has gigantic muscles. I am not a muscles fan at all...like at all. I like skinny guys. On top of that, he is asian and muscular, which is just unnatural. I know it sounds racist or something, but I don't hold anything against asians. I just have never seen them be muscley before. He is very handsome though, so I guess maybe I could overlook the muscles. They are huge though.

Anyways, the point is: I am confused about things. I just need to figure them out somehow. Sorry this blog was soooo long (is it the longest one?) and confusing--I guess my blog writing reflects my state of mind. I am so excited to see you all this Friday! Party...

Until next time

Age